Friendship

Finding Friendship

No matter how many friends they have gained over the years, teens often find themselves wanting to branch out and develop new friendships. The following are a few tips anyone can follow in the pursuit for new found companionship:

• The basic nature of your school makes it the best breeding ground for new friends. Take the time to get to know the people who surround you every day from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m.
• Organized activities are another opportunity to meet friends, whether you participate in extracurricular clubs, join a church youth group, or play in a sports league.
• Discover ways to bond with others over a shared interest, whether it's your favorite band, or your hatred of geometry.
• Go online to interact with others in a new setting. You can break the ice with an instant message about the night's homework assignment or a comment on someone's MySpace page.
• If you're nervous because you're new to the area, or you're just a little shy, give yourself a break and take baby steps toward building friendships. Building your comfort zone and becoming more relaxed is a certain road to some great new buds.
• If you find it easy to talk, take the most of every opportunity to talk to new people. You never know where your next new friend may be hiding, either in your next group project or waiting at the bus stop.

Ultimately remember every person is different. Some teens love to be the center of attention and fill their lives with dozens of casual friends. Others prefer to have one or two close friends. There's no right or wrong answer when it comes to friendship.

Parental Problems

Friends are just one of the many subjects upon which teens and parents tend to disagree. Sometimes the best solution is to meet your parents halfway. If they don't like the idea of you getting a ride with your friend, ask to be dropped off at the mall or movie theater instead. If they don't want you to spend the night at a friend's house before they've had a chance to meet his or her parents, try to host the sleepover at your house as a compromise.

If your parents truly disapprove of your friends, take a close look at their reasons. Have you changed since you starting hanging out with new people? If the change is purely cosmetic, like you've transitioned to wearing goth or punk fashions, then it may just take your family a while to get used to the "new" you. Prove to them you're still the same person under the black lipstick or Mohawk, and they'll slowly come to terms with the change. Perhaps your parents just need to get to know your friends better. Try to find ways to bring your parents and a new acquaintance together, even if it's just stopping in the living room to talk for a few minutes before hanging out in your room for the rest of the night. Believe it or not, that can often make all the difference.

However, sometimes parents realize a friendship may not be good for you. With their own experiences with friends over the years and their position as an outside observer, they have a perspective you should consider. Have your behavior and attitude changed for the worse because of your new crowd? If you're failing classes or always partying on the weekends since that's what your friends do, your parents may have a reason to be concerned. Are you happy with the choices you've made and the person you're becoming? It's never too late to walk away and find more positive relationships. Don’t waste your youth on friends who bring you down.

Peer Pressure

One of the most common negative aspect of teen life can be peer pressure. When a friend is handing you a beer at a party or trying to convince you to skip class, it can be difficult to say no. You want to fit in and you don't want to disappoint your friends. No matter how tempting it may be to give in to peer pressure, you'll feel better about yourself in the long run if you stay true to your morals and don't do anything that doesn't feel right to you. Keep a long-term perspective to help you through these short-term issues.

Losing Friends

As we grow up and change, so do our relationships. Some friendships end spectacularly, with shouting, accusations, betrayals, and months of bitterness. Many more simply fade away. It can be sad to lose a friend, so you should do everything possible to end a friendship on a good note. Remember the good times you had together, but recognize when it may be time to move on and go your separate ways.