Gifted Teenager

The Gifted Teenager: Fact or Fiction?

One thing is very clear; some teens, for whatever reason, are labeled as gifted. The label itself can invoke a wide array of feelings for the teen, the parents, and even close friends. Understandably, feelings of envy, resentment and guilt, along with pride and a sense of self worth, can stem from this label.

Are some teens gifted? Absolutely. This doesn’t mean, however, that other teens who may not consider themselves “gifted” should feel bad. Quite the contrary. With a little patience, a lot of hard work, and an indomitable sense of spirit, anyone can achieve success!

A Checklist

Some of us know we are gifted from a very young age. The process usually starts when we’re first evaluated for kindergarten. From a series of applied tests, a school administrator is able to decide which children are “gifted”. If you’re wondering if you are a gifted teenager, here’s a quick list to help you decide:

• Very observant: These teens tend to notice details that others just don’t see.
• Extremely curious: Gifted teens tend to be extremely curious about objects, ideas, situations or events.
• Read easy: Many gifted children begin reading early, often before the age of five. Note that no matter the age, once they begin to read, they learn very quickly.
• Read rapidly and widely: And once they begin to read, they will read at a quick pace and with varied interests.
• Sophisticated vocabulary: Gifted teens usually have a large and sophisticated vocabulary and readily enjoy using new and unusual words.
• Excellent memories: They often have a large storehouse of information on a wide variety of topics, and they can recall this information very quickly when needed.

Still need some other noteworthy characteristics? Gifted teens tend to have vivid or usual imaginations, may need less sleep than others, and usually have a well-developed sense of humor.

The Downside

Ask any gifted child, teen, or adult and they’ll be the first to tell you that being gifted isn’t all” smooth sailing! In fact, growing up gifted can be fraught with confusion, a deep sense of alienation and in extreme cases, depression. Here’s a look at the downside of being gifted:

• A deep sense of perfectionism.

Many gifted teenagers feel the need to do things “perfectly”, but this in turn can cause a fear of failure, or a refusal to even try something new.

• Won’t answer questions immediately.

This is usually due to needing the full details of any help being offered or upcoming situations before giving an answer one way or another.

• Can be argumentative/manipulative.

Acutely developed verbal and reasoning skills can lead a gifted teen to be seen as “argumentative”. In fact, most parents remark that their child is like a little lawyer! In less flattering terms, however, where some see a gift, others just see an argument.

Alienation

A lot of traits can cause this feeling of being different from their peers, including:

• Having a well-developed sense of humor that peers just don’t understand
• A vocabulary that leaves others wondering what was just said
• "Outsmarting" teachers, parents and even their peers

What Should Parents Do?

If you are the parent of a gifted teen, you may feel the need to treat your child with kid gloves, or because you’re so impressed with their cognitive abilities, cater to their every whim. Here’s a check list of what you should be doing:

• Understand that it’s ok for your teen to want to feel “normal”.

Gifted or not, most teens go through a passing phrase of wanting to “fit in”. For your teen, this may mean putting their academic ambitions on hold. If this is true for your teen, go ahead and express your concern, but know that more often than not, their academic ambition will return, usually towards the latter half of high school.

• Allow for consequences.

By this we mean natural consequences. If you know that your teen has not turned their homework in for three weeks, don’t try to shield them from the natural consequences of such and act. It’s important for them to see that they have responsibilities, and that they need to take their work seriously.

• Don’t stop being a parent.

No matter how impressive your child’s talents, remember that you are the parent, and as such, guidelines and limits are of paramount importance. Let’s say your child is allowed to skip a grade. Discuss with them the pros and cons of such an event. Maybe if you see them loading up on AP courses, ask them how that may impact their friendships, social life or free time.

The Bottom-line

So what’s the bottom line here? Well, being a gifted teenager may seem like a cakewalk, but it really isn’t. Just like any inherent talent, like playing the piano or painting a master piece, it takes hard work, focus, and a dedication to developing your skills. No matter where you fall on the gifted spectrum, keep those attributes in mind, and you’ll never go wrong!