How to Ask a Girl Out in Junior High

From LoveToKnow Teens

Learning how to ask a girl out in junior high is just one of many daunting tasks for adolescent boys.

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Coming of Age

When hormones start taking over and classmates begin to notice each other in ways they previously had not, many boys are opening themselves up to both great experiences and a good share of heartache as well. Parents worry about their young teens knowing how to handle romantic relationships, and many of the adolescents themselves are nervous as to how to do things correctly. No one at any age wants to endure embarrassment or rejection, and during the tender junior high years egos are even more fragile.

Below are some tips for both boys and their parents to hopefully ease some of the awkwardness and potential for social disaster.

How to Ask a Girl Out in Junior High

When faced with a pretty girl in front of them, many young men are intimidated to the point they easily forget she just may be as nervous as they are. An important thing to do when your son shows interest in a classmate or friend outside of school is to encourage him that dating is new and scary for both males and females. While your son may be agonizing over asking for that first date, he is often too distracted to realize it may be her first date as well. Bringing his head out of the anxiety filled clouds and back down to the reality of first dates and their fears surrounding them may be a big comfort.

Sharing your early dating experiences may also be helpful for your young person to hear. Many of those in their early teens are convinced their parents are less than human and couldn’t possibly understand their current predicaments. Being candid and honest about your past can bridge a relational gap and bring your child confidence at the same time.

Making the First Move

There are many ways to ask a girl out for the first time, but it is most recommended these days to date in a groups. Junior highers may feel like adults, but the truth of the matter is they need not be treated as such. Encouraging young teens to group date is the best way for them to get to know that special someone a bit better, and they can progress to private dates after they have had more experience with each other.

Excellent group date activities include going to the movies, a special shopping trip, going to local fairs or amusement parks, or going as a team to a school social event.

If your son (or you yourself) is mature enough to go on an exclusive date, there are plenty of creative ways to ask a girl out for the first time.

Girls in this age group love special attention in a creative way. Consider leaving a handwritten letter in her locker or making her a small gift basket to leave on her doorstep. The more creative you are, the more points you will earn with her and her friends (which is obviously very important at this age.) Cultivate your creative side and earn the reputation as being the most romantic of dates in the school.

Another great way to ask a girl out is to get to know her family. Parents are very overprotective at times when you are a young teen, and so breaking through the family barrier is important. Does she have a younger sibling with sports events you can attend? Does her father like a specific sports team? Her mother a specific flower or candy? Research her family and find out what is important to them. In turn, it will be important to her.

Respect Privacy

After the courage and knowledge regarding how to ask a girl out in junior high has come to fruition, there is one other important factor to consider – privacy. This is important for both parents and young teens to realize. For the boy about to do the asking, it’s important that he not put his crush in an embarrassing situation. Don’t open yourself up to heartbreak by putting her in a position where she may have to turn you down in front of a group of peers. Instead, do the serious asking in private, unless you are utilizing the more creative options listed above. Even then it is important you gain some sort of insight as to what her reaction may be.

On the flip side, it is important for parents to give their child the space he needs to start dating. While we as adults may now view first dates as sweet and worthy of an entire roll of pictures, when we were in that position ourselves we certainly did not think so. Give your son the space he needs to make one of many grown up choices that will be thrown at him during his time in junior high.

First dates should be fun and exciting without a large amount of pressure from friends or family. Choosing to spend time one on one with a special girl is worth cherishing, so do your homework first to do everything you can to ensure it will turn out all right!



 


Comments

Hi Anonymous, There really is no bad way to ask this girl over to the donut place. Just try to ask her when she's alone, either after class or school. It is easier to do when there isn't a crowd around. You can be casual about it, like say, "I'm heading over to the donut place after school. You're welcome to come if you'd like," that way if she says "no," you've saved face because it wasn't like you asked her on a date. Good luck!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

so im in middle school, and ther is this girl i like that i talk to a lot during our general music class, i want to ask her out to the donut place by our school one day but i dont no how plz help!!

-- Contributed by: Anonymous

This sorta helped. It actually gave me an idea. Well, the girl that I wanna ask out has a friend who really likes me (She made that VERY obvious by calling me cute and saying I was really nice.) Well, she already has a boyfriend who is actually a sixth grader that I know. But the girl that I like is, like I said, best friends with her. So, I'm gonna get really close to Brooke (Girl that thinks I'm cute) so I can become good friends with Savanna (Girl that I like) then , I can ask her out. This will probably take a little while but I think I can pull it off. Fact about me: The only girl I ever asked out was named Alexis. I liked Alexis whenever I first saw her in third grade, when I came to my new school, and it took me till the end of fifth grade to ask her out. But, granted, I was in two different private schools up until sixth grade so I don't have much experience around girls.

-- Contributed by: Christian C. OH Age: 12
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