Schoolboy Crush

His First Crush

He may have known her since Kindergarten, or perhaps she is a new student. However long she has been in your son’s life, he may have just recently discovered her in a whole new way. Around late elementary school or junior high, many boys begin to look at the girls in their class, church group, or sports league in a romantic way for the first time. As he grows and changes, his first crush can be an intimidating experience. One important thing to remind him is that the girls his age are starting to notice him in a new way as well. He isn’t the only one experiencing new emotions and venturing into unfamiliar territory.

How do you handle your son’s first schoolboy crush? Should you allow him to pursue a relationship or is it something you should ignore? These are just a few of the questions many parents of young men ask themselves when confronted with those first romantic feelings.

How to Talk to a Girl

If you do encourage your son to follow his heart, the first step for talking with a girl you know is to stay calm and collected. Chances are, she will be surrounded by a group of friends when he approaches her.

Take some time to discuss this with your son and see how that makes him feel. If this makes him nervous, then consider suggesting he write her a letter. Letting your intentions be known through a note is a popular method for a schoolboy crush, as many guys are afraid of rejection.

A lot of times, if a girl feels the same way, she will write a letter in return; and if she doesn’t, there isn’t an awkward conversation to be had. If the girl your son has a schoolboy crush on is already a good friend, she shouldn’t abandon the friendship just because he made his feelings known. However, since this is always a risk, be prepared for the consequences if you encourage communication and it happens to unfortunately backfire.

In talking with his crush, your son should try to find out what her interests are. Is there a way he can become involved in similar activities? Is there a way to increase the chances of a positive conversation? By helping him realize that having things in common are important in a relationship, you are equipping him to get some practice in when it comes to later dating and relationships.

Schoolboy Crush Rejection

Sadly, most schoolboy crushes do not work out as hoped. It is important you are there to love your son unconditionally when he comes home from school with his heart deflated for the first time. Many parents believe that the junior high and high school years are too young of an age to begin dating, thus forbidding it to avoid such heartbreaking situations. This is a personal family choice and no one can make that decision except you and the other authoritative relatives in your son’s life.

If you do decide to let your son pursue a relationship, always instill important communication so he feels equally comfortable coming to you with his failures as well as his successes. It is vital you give him a forum where he can release his feelings and hurts if the girl he is eyeing decides he is not “the one.”

However, some schoolboy crushes do in fact work out. It is exciting to remember that some do marry their high school sweethearts, and the young lady your son is bringing into your life right now just might become a future daughter in law. For that reason, it is important to respect your son’s growing and changing relationships, while doing all you can to help him maintain that balance between love’s excitement and proper boundaries.