Troubled Teens
From LoveToKnow Teens
If you fall into the category of troubled teens, you are not alone. As a teen, you want more responsibility. More responsibility equals more stress. More stress can make for troubled teens.
Low self-esteem can lead you into situations you would normally avoid. During the school day, you feel pressure to dress right and hang out with the right kids. Weekend parties offer you an opportunity to get into trouble.
The Life of Troubled Teens
Peer Pressure and Cliques
Peer pressure is overwhelming in high school. While trying to fit in, you find yourself in a clique. Everyone is given a label in high school:
- Cheerleader
- Jock
- Headbanger
- Preps
- Goth
- Nerds
Every school has its own labels for these groups. When troubled teens are tagged, they tend to act the part. The pressure to either fit in is overwhelming at times.
Family Life
Though your family is supposed to love you unconditionally, it may not feel that way. Adults get busy with their life and do not always give their children the attention you need. It is not uncommon for teens and parents to quit getting along as teens push for more freedom while parents push back with stricter rules. Personalities clash as parents feel their children drifting away.
Another family issue is divorce. What happens in your family life affects your behavior.
Depression
When life gets tough, it is easy to become depressed. Depression offers no age boundaries. The symptoms of depression include:
- Always feeling tired
- Displaced anger
- Wanting to cry all the time
- Lack of concentration
- Loss or increase in appetite
- Think about death frequently
- Feelings of anxiety
- Feeling as if you can’t do anything right
As a teen, you may feel depressed for numerous reasons, including:
- Grades
- Your dating or social life
- Relationship with your family
- Feelings of failure or not fitting in
- Sex, drugs or alcohol
- Your appearance
The first step in getting help is to recognize that you are depressed. You are not alone. If you think you are suffering from depression, tell your parents or school counselor. Though depression takes time to overcome, help is available including prescription drugs and counseling.
Suicide
If you obsess about thoughts of death, get help right away. When you begin wondering if the world is better without you, it is time to look towards living for the future. Suicide is a serious issue.
Sex
Though you are taught abstinence, it seems like everyone in school is “doing it”. The truth is, not as many teens are having sex as you think. Becoming sexually active is a big decision. Often young love and lust cause you to want to rush into proving to your partner you love him. This reasoning often backfires. If he really loves you, he wants what is best for you. Being sexually active, subjects you to:
- Pregnancy (or becoming a dad)
- Sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s)
- Low self-worth
Sex can wait. If you already started, do not face it alone. Your friends are struggling with the same issues you are. Birth control can make a difference for your future.
Drugs
Schools advertise “drug free zones” yet drugs are easy to find. Troubled teens turn towards drugs for different reasons such as escaping the stress of daily life or to avoid being left out. Most drugs are highly addictive and can lead to other problems, including making bad decisions that result in other issues such as:
- Failing at school
- Sex
- Depression
Alcohol
Alcohol is commonly found at high school parties. Underage drinking presents problems of its own. Alcohol impairs your judgment, causing you to engage in activities you normally would say “no” to such as sex or recklessness. Alcohol abuse among troubled teens is an issue.
Failing School
Students fail for numerous reasons. You may find yourself struggling with subjects that feel like a foreign language, or you are too busy partying to even care. Though it does not seem important at this time, school is important to your future. If flipping burgers sounds like a nightmare, you may want to readdress your academic issues.
Eating Disorders
Teens come in all shapes and sizes. Kids who are larger unfortunately get teased. Bulimia and anorexia are two common eating disorders found in troubled teens. Though you may not think your eating disorder is a big deal, it can cause death and permanent damage.
Getting Help
If you are a troubled teen, help is available. Do not wait until it is too late. Drugs, pregnancy, eating disorders and suicide are real issues. Do not blame yourself.
Talking to Parents
Try talking to your parents. They will find you the help you need. Since your problems affect the whole family, expect them to be involved in the process. Remember, they were young once.
Seeking Counseling
Your counselor is bound by confidentiality which makes them the perfect person to speak with. What you tell them will stay between the two of you (unless your life is in danger). They can offer guidance and help you overcome your problems.
Online Resources
Comments
Hi Cheryl, Sounds like you probably need professional help that is one-on-one with your son. Have you tried talking to the school psychologist at your son's school? He or she could refer you to someone locally who may be able to help. They will be able to give you ideas on how to cope with your own feelings of helplessness and get your son the help he needs to stop this negative behavior before it drives your entire family over the edge.
If you are positive that your son is doing drugs, you could also call your local hospital and ask to speak to someone in addictions counseling- they could also point you in the right direction for help.
-- Contributed by: Charlotte GerberOver the last two months my 14 year old son has been out of control. He has been breaking curfew coming home whenever he likes, increased anger,low grades,smoking marijuana, hanging with the wrong people, not listening,disobeying all rules.Our family has been more than patient and caring,we don't know what else to do.He knows he was not raised this way. Please help! I can't take it anymore! I'm so afraid that one of these nights I will get that phone call or knock at the door no parent ever wants to receive.
-- Contributed by: Cheryl StockingHi Shanna,
I'm sorry that your dad seems so controlling. You didn't mention your age, so I'm guessing that you are a young teen. Parents are usually worried about the friends that their kids are hanging out with, especially if they are at other people's homes. The problem is that parents want to know the friends that their kids are hanging out with, or at least know them better. One way to do this is to try hanging out with your friends first in your own home. Let your parents see that your friends aren't that bad and that they are somewhat responsible young adults. Once your parents know your friends better, they'll be more likely to let you hang out by yourself with them in other places. Don't worry- parents eventually loosen up when they get to know your friends a little better. If he seems to be hanging on tightly, it just shows he is really worried about his kid growing up too fast and wants to make sure you're safe.
As for the babysitting issue, maybe you could take some courses in babysitting so that your dad knows you are taking this job direction seriously. Tell him you'd like to earn some money and that you think you can be a responsible young adult. Check out your local YMCA, YWCA or 4-H club to see what they offer (Infant/Child CPR & Babysitting Basics classes).
-- Contributed by: Charlotte GerberThis page has been accessed 1,760 times. This page was last modified 19:11, 20 June 2008.
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