Tweens

Tween 'Tudes

There is a definite attitude shift around 10-years-old. It is very common for boys and girls in this age range to begin pulling away and trying to gain independence. Common phrases include:

• I'm too old.
• I'm not a baby.
• But, Mom… (or Dad)
• Everyone else is (fill in the blank).

Treat your tween like a child, and you will be greeted with long, drawn out sighs. This age group also likes to roll their gaze toward the ceiling. Yet the preteen still needs guidance and parental involvement in order to make the best decisions and to work through difficult situations.

It can be tough to stay calm and cool in the face of these preteen attitudes. Remember to pick your battles. If it isn't something that is a moral or physical danger, then decide if it is a subject worth clashing over. For example, you might choose to battle over graphic lyrics in music, but ignore music that is played a bit too loud.

A Connection

Communication remains key during this age. Although your son or daughter may act like talking to you is the last thing they want, it is important to spend one-on-one time with your child. Let him talk about the things that interest him and don't be afraid to ask questions about important topics and tough topics such as drugs, smoking, peer pressure, and sex.

Gift Ideas

Not sure what your tween might enjoy as a gift? Besides the obvious choice of MP3 players, you might want to try a few of these ideas:

• Pre-teen books
  • Mickey and Me
  • The Complete Chronicles of Narnia
  • Little House on the Prairie is a classic that never seems to go out of style
• Pocketknives for boys
• Reversible belts for girls
• Prepaid cell phones
• Gaming system accessories, such as a skin for the Wii
• An iTunes gift card
• A gift certificate to a favorite store
• Inexpensive watches

Another great gift for this age is to spend a day together shopping. Give the child a spending limit and allow her to choose which stores you'll visit. This is also a good opportunity to take the child to lunch or dinner and discuss important issues such as why she shouldn’t smoke and how to handle peer pressure situations.

The Next Few Years

Worried about surviving the next few years? Today's parents compete not only with school and friends for their tween's attention, but also television, cell phones, instant messaging, music, Internet, magazines, and movies. With so many outside influences, raising a responsible, caring adult seems nearly impossible. Remember these tips and you should come out on the other side with both you and your child intact:

• Keep your cool, especially when your child rolls those eyes.
• Keep talking.
• Don't just talk—listen too.
• Allow her some extra freedoms that are age appropriate.
• Discipline is still important, so set rules and stick to them.
• Don't forget to say, "I love you."

Take the time to explain to your son or daughter about advertisers and that their goal is to sell a product. Go over some of the advertising techniques, so your child is aware of the tactics used to influence purchasing decisions and will not be as susceptible. Encourage your son or daughter to seek out positive role models, such as a teacher or local volunteer worker. Although this age is difficult, now more than ever your child needs to hear that you care about them. Keep the lines of communication open and count to ten. Your tween will be a teen before you know it.