What Is Peer Pressure

Defining Peer

A peer isn't a what, it's a who. According to YourDictionary.com, a peer is a person who shares your rank, values and abilities among other things. Essentially it's someone who is your equal either socially, legally or otherwise.

Simply put, peers are the people around you with whom you share things in common. Sometimes they're about your age, and sometimes they're even in the same grade, school or neighborhood as you. Peers are often your friends, but in other circumstances you may not know them that well. With that in mind, it's time to delve into exactly what is peer pressure.

So, What Is Peer Pressure?

Has anyone ever tried to persuade you to do something you didn't want to do? It's this use of influence, often exerted as a push to do or say a particular thing, that is the heart and soul of peer pressure. After all, there wouldn't be a need for pressure if you already wanted to go along with someone else's opinion.

It's a rare person who isn't influenced by the thoughts and feelings of others, especially people you're close to on a daily basis. Most people prefer to fit in with the people around them. This can be especially true for teenagers still trying to figure out where they stand on various issues. Occasionally, this means going along with the general consensus even if you're not completely convinced it's what you really want.

So, why does anyone feel tempted to go along even when they don't agree with someone else? The simple answer is that there is a large measure of comfort in being part of a group. Belonging means being accepted, and this provides a certain amount of personal security. Bucking the group and going your own way often means being ostracized, criticized or ridiculed. Just thinking about this prospect can be very unpleasant.

Examples of Peer Pressure In Action

Peer pressure comes in both good and bad forms. The following scenarios show different ways that peers sometimes apply pressure in order to persuade a person to behave in a particular way.

Peer Pressure to Behave Negatively

A group of popular teens have finally asked Mike if he wants to come to the mall with them after school. Mike says yes, but once there he realizes that his new "friends" like to shoplift small items just for the thrill of it. Mike isn't happy about it, but he decides to keep a little distance and not say anything about it to anyone else. The problem is, these same friends want Mike to steal something too, partly as an initiation but mostly so he won't be able to tell on them without confessing himself. If he gives in to their pressure, he'll have committed a crime. If he doesn't, they'll treat him like a social outcast at school.

A Positive Peer Pressure Outcome

The kids in the marching band have just finished asking for donations on tag day. Everyone is getting ready to turn in their money cans, but Eddie suddenly decides he wants to keep the money he collected for himself. When he tells this to his friends, they all insist that keeping the money would be stealing from the band as well as cheating the people who donated. Eddie really wants the money, but he gives in to the pressure from his friends to do the right thing.

Dealing with the Pressure

If dealing with peer pressure was easy, it wouldn't be such a difficult issue to navigate. Consider the following questions and tips to help you make the best decisions.

• Who will benefit from your actions? If your "friends" are asking you to do something that could hurt you or someone else because it benefits them, they don't really have your best interests at heart. On the other hand, if your actions will be for the good of everyone involved, your friends' opinions may well be worth considering.

• What does your conscience tell you? Listening to your "gut" will usually tell you if the actions you're considering are right or wrong.

• Confide in someone you trust. Sharing your dilemma with someone you look up to like a parent, teacher or school counselor can help you sort things out.

• Be true to yourself. You may find that sometimes you need to go against popular opinion in order to do what you believe is right.

• Learn from your experiences. Learning to make your own decisions is part of growing up. Think of it as a skill you'll need to fine tune as you go. If you made the wrong choice at the time, think about what you could have done differently to create a better outcome. If your choice turned out to be a good one, use it as a source of strength when dealing with questionable pressure from your friends in the future.