LoveToKnow Teens:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Teens

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Hi Vickvi, The problems you are describing with your health and mental health can't be diagnosed over the Internet. You really need to see your family physician to get a correct diagnosis. At the very least, speak to a counselor at school or the school nurse about your health problems. They are qualified to help you get the attention you need in this matter.

If you are in a crisis, please call the Depression Help Line - 1-800-255-8336.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

OK well i hope this isnt tooo long! :/ -I tire easily at the weirdest times: When i get my backpack for school, i have to put up some strength even though it hasnt gained anymore weight than usual.Thaz not usual for me im rather strong for my age and ?? its like i just lifted a ton of bricks and i have to suck in my breath to get it up on my back. -I get really sore easliy, like i was really sore in one muscle part of my back and i did nothign to it im a ware of. -im not my usual personality like i am acting really realy weird sometimes like whole different way of thinking. Im sorry its hard to explain. -I acually have been getting MORE sleep than usual, like 1/2 at LEAST somtimes an hour. -I will have trouble almost BREATHING like when i call my puppy i use a very high pitched voice and do it all the time b4 but now i feel exhausted every time afterwards. and other times like i ran the marathin and just gave a speech. And all i did was call his name! -I lost almost all appetite. At dinner and brekfast, i wont be hungry and when im forced to eat, the food tastes like nothing. At lunch i wil feel hungry but wont want to eat just seeingthe food ill lose my appettie.. -I have very very sudden mood swings. Really, its rediculous. One sec i will be angry, then happy, a few mins l8ter, i will be sad!! and feel like im ussless and dont matter and get very depressed. That almost happens mostly after and b4 school. During school i will be sad but majorly at home after i dont ave any of my peers to tlk to. This is alomost the most major things. -I have a LOT harder time concerentrating, and foucusing. I lost ambition and stuff. -If it makes a difference, im in middle school. CHANGES RECENTLY: im trying to be thourgh so people can help me as much as possible sorry. -Ok wel this has started i would say this past monday -On tuesday i started walking to school. Uphill to school and downhill after school back home. IDK if this makes a diff but oh well. :) -Ive discovered very starlting things this week like finding out one of my firends is gay, and another is moving. -Oh and its not time or my peroid, im right in the middle of the month of it supposed to be ...ing, like at least another 2 or 3 weeks. And ive NEVER been like this b4, not like this at all. -I think this sounds if as though im depressed, but do depressed poeple also be happy at least a 1/4 to 1/3 as much sad? thaz wat gets me: I still am happy part of the time. I was wondering maybe bipolar, but idthink that the above applies to that completely either. -Idk i dont really have anyone i would feel comfortable tlking too. Please address as much of this as u can. thankyou soo much in adviance! 4 hours ago - 1 week left to answer. Additional Details Oh yeah sometimes, ranodomllyi will feel like im gonna trowup, but not nesseacirlly nausious. Like when i get really exhuasted like i mentioned two times above. after then. (ie calling my puppy) i ahve in no way been abused or tramatized. I have absolutly NO clue as to wat to do!! Im a wrek often.

-- Contributed by: Vickvi

Girl with problem,

You have so many reasons for why you are feeling the way you are. You really do need to find a therapist that you click with so you can talk about all of your thoughts and feelings as well as get some medication for your possible depression/bipolar disorder. It is completely possible for you to have one of these because it runs in your family. Your grandparents are most likely in denial about it and don't want to see you suffering with it, however, you are and that means you need help. With medication, you can finally feel better about yourself and with some talk therapy, feel better about your situation in life. You've been dealt a difficult hand in life but you can rise above it and turn it around. You just need to take steps to do that. It is also important that you take action because of your flighting thoughts of suicide. It may not be too strong now but it could get to be bad over time.

My suggestion is to try again finding a therapist. I understand that you've seen four with no help, but you need to keep searching for someone who fits your personality and who will understand you.

You can also use a depression hotline if you are in crisis - 1-800-255-8336.

Just know that there is help for you and that life is not hopeless. Take one day at a time and you will find true happiness one day.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

i have taken many online quizzes and they have all said i should call a doctor because i have severe depression. Depression and Bi-polar disorder both run in my family and Im afraid i might have one or both of them. Some of my history leads me to think that i have depression. In fourth grade my father died of colon cancer and my mother is no longer in my life because she is a compulsive liar (also bi-polar). So i live with my grandparents. I have just learned to accept the fact I don't have a normal life.I have 2 half sisters and 2 half brothers and 1 full blood younger sister. My father had 3 kids before me with another woman: 2 girls 1 boy(all older). the boy is married and about to have a child but i never see him because he lives on the other side of the country so i am no longer apart of his life. and one of the girls is traveling all over the world and i havent seen her in 7 years. so i am no longer in her life. and the other girl just got out of college so shes getting her life together and i see her about once a year. then my mother had a boy before with another man: hes also older.he had issues with my family and refuses to talk to me or anyone in my family. and this year i just learned he was shipped off to war without saying goodbye or anything to anyone. I have learned to live with it all but my problem is is that i bottle everything up because i dont want pity. i dont want anyone to feel sorry for me. then i feel pathetic. im not sure what to do anymore because i dont enjoy life. im all about pretending to be something im not: happy. and i have friends, best friends. but i know if i share any of this with anyone they'll just pity me. and i've already been to 4 therapists and they have done nothing for me. so i stopped going. but i've tried talking to my grandparents about me being depressed and they dont believe me. So now im alone. I have no one to talk to and no one believes me. and lately suicide has been popping up in my mind but im trying not to let that get the best of me. also now its like the smallest things bother me. any little comment about me makes me feel worthless. what do i do?

-- Contributed by: girlwithproblem

Hi Jaimee,

You have been through so much in your life already. Your feelings are real and important. Your sister may not be reacting to you because she doesn't understand depression (many people don't) and because she cares about you and secretly hopes that you don't have it.

What you need to do is get help for yourself. Don't let your sister prevent you from finding someone else who will listen and care for you. If you can't talk to your mom, talk to a school guidance counselor or another trust adult. You can also call a depression hotline to find support: 1-800-355-8336

Good luck to you...and remember, you don't have to go on feeling this way!

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Hi. I have taken many quizzes online (like approximately 10) and all of them say I suffer from severe depression. I feel it too tho. I tried to tell my sister and she's just passed it off and said I was fine. But honestly, I don't think I am. I fall asleep after I get home from school and then I would be waken up for supper and then I could fall asleep again at 8 and sleep all the way through the night. I personally think I also have very low self esteem. People say oh you aren't fat, but it's stuck in my brain. When I was in 3rd grade (now in 8th) and my Dad "touched" me in an awkward way and I told my Mom and we went through this whole law case, but it didn't go to the "big" court people for a hearing. And I mean I didn't mind it because I still loved my Dad and I didn't want him to get in trouble. But in that same year I choked on meat and stopped eating meat and almost everything else. My mom didn't notice at first, but once I started getting mysterious bruises on my body she had to take me to the doctor. And it was a long and very hard process. but I got through it. But it always makes me feel bad because of what my mom was put through. But I answered yes to questions 2-10. And if my sister wouldn't listen, how can I expect anyone else to. I need help.

-- Contributed by: Jaimee

Arianne,

You need to get help right now. Whenever you feel like suicide is the only way out of a situation, you need to talk to someone and get help. If you don't have a trusted adult around you (such as a school counselor or your parents), you can call a depression hotline such as this one: 1800-448-3000. Don't ever feel like you aren't worthy of feeling depressed or get help. Depression isn't always a consequence of what happens in your life, it's a chemical imbalance in your brain (completely beyond your control). What you can control is getting treatment by talking to someone and if needed, medication. Your first step is to talk to someone right now. Good luck to you.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Hi i am 14 and i think i suffer from severe depression. Where i live u do not get that many depressed people or you do not hear about it. the thing is i have no one to talk to, most people think i am just a spoiled brat, i know i am but it feels like so much more, every online test says i am severely depressed but i honestly do not know. there are people who get it but they need me more, why should i be more of a burden. to my parents i am so supposed to be the good one how can i tell them how truly imperfect i am. how do you tell some one whats going on, please just help because suiciide is starting to really appeal to me now.

-- Contributed by: Arianne

Emily,

Yes, you are correct on this. Answering yes to sleeping through the night is one of the answers that does not indicate you are depressed.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

I think what Dakota meant was that it says that if you answered yes to two or more questions then you may be depressed. But #1 was Are you able to sleep through the night?

So yes would be the 'right' answer. ie. you aren't depressed.

I dunno?

-- Contributed by: Emily

Hi Dakota, Yes, it is good to sleep though the night- however, sometimes when people are depressed they don't sleep well, or have trouble falling asleep. Therefore, you might be depressed if you have trouble sleeping.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Isn't #1 on the test supposed to be yes? It's good to sleep through the night, right?

-- Contributed by: Dakota

Hi Alice, What are you afraid of with counseling? You sound like you're depressed and your parents want to help (not all parents care!). I say you have nothing to lose. As for the photo you saw, you don't know if that was a staged photo, or not... and you don't know if that is the only reason why someone wouldn't hire her. For all you know, she could be a model making money posing for media photos!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hello. I think I'm depressed, and answered yes to most of the questions aboce. I think I've been depressed for a long time too. I just told my mother, and she keeps asking if I want counseling. I don't know if I want it, because I don't know why I'm depressed. I know I am, you can't really not know... I don't have a horrible life really, but I just... I don't know how to explain it really. I think the trigger was when I thought one day, "I'm going to be just like everyone else.", and that scares me. I don't want to work a deskjob for the rest of my life. Just thinking about it makes me want to pull my hair out and scream. Ever since then I started to fail school. I just don't feel like focusing. Around October, I deceded to attempt to pull myself together. I'm still in 8th grade, and I could help myself. But then then I saw an article, and it showed a picture of a woman with a sign that said "Colledge Scholership, and No One Will Hire Me."

Then I though, what's the point?

Should I get counseling? Now that I thought about it, and put it into writing, that's a stupid question. I would still like an opinion though.

-- Contributed by: Alice

Hi Sophie, It is hard when you get overlooked in a large family. The only way to change this is to try and become more involved with things at home, even though you have a busy lifestyle. If you want attention, you have to be the squeaky wheel, so to speak. Volunteer to make dinner once a week; help out once in a while with the younger kids- like babysit so your parents can get some alone time. It will make you indispensable to your parents, and perhaps earn you the kudos you deserve!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I'm 16, and I answered yes to most of the questions above. I do have a very busy lifestyle, but have no support from my family, or feel wanted by them. We have a very large family and I understand the younger children need attention, but I never get any. I don't know if I should talk to anyone or just hope it all improves over time.

-- Contributed by: sophie

Hi Kat, Since I don't know you, I don't know whether you're just bummed out and it will soon pass. If this drags on for weeks at a time, you need to speak to a school counselor or psychologist. Look at it this way- would you rather feel rotten all the time, or have someone lift some of that load from your shoulders? My advice is to seek help if you don't feel better soon, otherwise life is going to just pass you by.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I answered yes to a lot of the questions above. I'm 15 and, I don't really know. I don't have a reason to be depressed. My parents are great, they push me too hard in school sometimes, but other than that it's not bad. I like my friends. I'm just always tired and find myself not caring at all about school. I think about suicide a lot. but I could never do it. I'm really self conscious and am jealous and overly critical of every other girl my age. I hate everything about the way I look and the way I act. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people. I don't want to talk to someone - I'll feel dumb. I just don't want to live and I want someone to just notice. I want to be able to cry.

-- Contributed by: Kat

Hi again Debs, I don't know if you're directing your comments to me, or to the world in general. I don't know why you would think I'm here to judge you or your motives. Only you know why you're doing things to hurt yourself. I'm sure there is a good reason behind all of this self-loathing. I wish I could help you, but reaching across the Internet is difficult at best.

As for your friend being "angry" at you or ignoring you, it is because you dropped a little bomb on them. Telling someone that you are hurting yourself is shocking, and they probably don't know how to respond or to help you. Give it time- they may come around and try to help in their own way. Try not to shut your friend out when they do.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hi Iver, It must be very depressing to have your family split up. Your support system was changed drastically, and now you have to form new relationships, possibly with people you don't really like at the moment. It is understandable to get angry quickly - you probably feel like you don't have any control over your life right now. Take a deep breath and consider your situation carefully. If you want things to get easier, you'll have to give a little, just to keep the peace. You need to "make friends" with someone at your aunt's home so you have someone to turn to when things don't go well. Alternatively, get involved in a sport, club or volunteer somewhere. This could open new doors for you in terms of a future career as well as friendships. This could help you forget your troubles, if only for a while.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Okay, fine. Not only do my parents not listen, I made a close friend angry. Why? All I said was that I starved for 2 days while getting over a guy. I'm sure you'll be angry too when you read this post. Its okay. I'm used to the whole damn world being ...ed off at me. sure. I'm always the bad girl. You can tell me I deserve it, but that is how I get over guys. I starve then I eat. What is wrong with me? Do I have to detach myself from my friends? So -called friends? He hasn't talked to me since. And not killing myself to feel the pain? I don't think so. Yes go on, tell me I act like a brat. or a .... because I am one aren't I? I hate myself.

-- Contributed by: Debs

I have been feeling depressed from the time my parents split. I live with my aunt and its been a hard time for me. I always get into conflicts with the members of the aunts family (my cousins). I tend to go through temper tantrums. I get angry very quickly.

-- Contributed by: iver rismay

Hi again Debs, I know it sucks when your parents won't listen, and perhaps you have overachieving siblings (I did). I would suggest finding something that you really enjoy doing to get over this bad period you're going through. If you can't find a place to volunteer that is fun, is there something online you enjoy doing? A fun place to go if you're feeling creative is Teen Second Life. You can chat with people all over the world, start an internet business - like designing clothes, jewelery or whatever. It might keep your mind off things, especially since you seem to spend time on the Internet.

Please don't try to kill yourself. If you live in the U.S., and do this unsuccessfully, you could end up in a psychiatric ward- honest. Please hang in there - call the number I gave you if things seem desperate.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Maybe, but I've tried to communicate so many times and I'm very tired. I don't have the money to runaway so I'm just going to detach myself emotionally from my family. I'm still thinking of ways to kill myself. I don't want to try to communicate anymore. They like my siblings better. To them, I'm nothing but a really dependent spoilt brat. I try to be good, but it comes out all wrong. I don't want to live, I just want to fade. It hurts when your parents don't listen, they push away everything I say and say, "Debs grow up, don't be so immature. You are 17 for goodness sake. I don't want to listen to your nonsense now."

-- Contributed by: Debs

Hi Debs, Happy people don't think about ways to commit suicide, so I would say you are depressed. I'm guessing you put on a happy face around your family or they would know something is wrong. Have you tried talking to your parents? Do they know how unhappy you are? If they are worried about your grades, perhaps they are worried for you- they want you to be able to graduate and be able to get a good job or go to college. They may not realize it is totally stressing you out.

You are so close to graduating and getting out of the house. Don't runaway now. I know things may seem tough, but it won't make things better by hurting yourself or running away from your problems. Please find someone to talk with at school, an adult friend, anyone who can give you some perspective and perhaps get you help. Your senior year should be fun, not a royal pain.

Next time you're having suicidal thoughts, consider calling the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-784-2433. It is totally confidential and they won't judge you at all.

Hang in there!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Maybe I am depressed, maybe not. I don't know why I'm writing this, but I really want to runaway from home. I really want to just dissolve into darkness. I put the blade to my arm, but I'm scared. Sometimes I really wanna take sleeping pills and sleep and never wake up. I cant sleep; either that or I wake up at 4 and can't get back to sleep. I constantly find myself thinking of different ways to commit suicide, and I haven't found the perfect way yet. I don't belong in my family. I can't even talk about the things in school. All they care about is grades. I'm 17. People tell me to grow up because I do things so slowly. I get my self esteem up and it comes crashing down again. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Runaway.

-- Contributed by: Debs

Hi Anonymous, You aren't the worst person in the world! It sounds as if you are depressed about something and really need some help. While the Internet is a good place to make friends, it isn't the right place to get help for depression. I suggest that you find someone outside of your family to confide in that can get you help and not dismiss this as over-reacting. Talk with a school counselor- they will keep everything confidential and can help you to talk with your parents or a professional counselor. Take this step- I know you have courage to do this because you wrote this note on our website. Please see someone ASAP!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hi, I don't know why I'm feeling what I am feeling, I feel that the world is black and all the doors are closing in on me. I feel as depressed as ever, I'm only 17. I don't want to do anything at all. I hardly get any good sleep anymore, I could go 9 hours without eating sometimes. I think about suicide although I don't think I could ever go through with it. I feel severe despair, guilt and feel like I'm the worst person on the planet. There are so many problems in my life and I worry a lot. I don't know what to do or who to go to because everyone always thinks I sometime make a big deal and worry about small things. I am currently tearing up as I'm writing to you. I don't know what to do.

-- Contributed by: annoynmous

Hi Kat, Most people consider suicide occasionally; the problem is when you are constantly thinking about it. Many teens think of it as "what if..." That doesn't mean you're disturbed, as long as you don't act on your thoughts. If you'd like to learn more about the impact suicide has on teens, please visit JaredStory.com.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hi Kayleigh, I can understand why you're feeling depressed and crying over the loss of your mom. It doesn't matter how old you are- losing a parent hurts your entire life long (personally, I've lost my father). While it is normal to have these feelings, it isn't healthy to dwell on them. It might help to visit your mom's gravesite and "talk" to her when you can. Do you have another adult female in your life you could talk to- even an older girlfriend? It helps to talk about your problems and it alleviates a lot of stress to share personal things with someone who cares. How about your dad? Does he know you're hurting? He may have no clue and would want to help you if you open up about this. Alternatively, consider talking to a counselor at school or a teacher you like. Generally speaking, most people who work with kids want to help them, but they don't always know there is a problem unless you speak up. I would also suggest that you get involved with some social activities at school or after school so you get out more and make new friends. Watching TV and surfing the Internet are solitary activities- you need to get out more! Even if you just get outdoors and go for a walk to "think things out" can help tremendously.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hi Jane, You didn't mention where you live, but it sounds like you really need to talk to someone. I understand that you had some problems with your last counselor, but that doesn't mean they are all "that way." When you need help it is important to find someone who is on your wavelength. Since you were seeing someone before, I'm guessing your parents were on board with your problem. So, the next step is to find a new counselor, preferably from another office. Talk with your parents about this. Alternatively, please call the Suicide Hotline for teens: 1-800-999-9999. Also consider clicking on this link to JaredStory.com; it may help to read this site. Hang in there!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I answerd yes to eight of these questions, but I don't really have any reason to be depressed. I've had a nice life and I'm doing pretty well in school. I don't really know if I want to tell my parents- or anyone- this. Also, most people my age that I know have contemplated suicide. Does this mean we're all disturbed?

-- Contributed by: Kat

I keep on thinking about suicide and killing myself. I used to find stuff on the internet, websites and tv shows really interesting; now I find them really boring and dull. Am I depressed? I also keep thinking about my mum- she died when I was two, but I'm now 11 and I want to cry all the time. I feel ugly and like everyone doesn't like me that much. Please help me before I do something I'll really regret.

-- Contributed by: kayleigh

I don't have any reason to feel at loss, other than what I've caused to happen to my friends and what happened to another friend as far as cutting and possible depression goes. I've been in and out of it, with a couple of attempts to "go away forever" and have gotten "professional help" but the "help" hasn't gotten me anywhere, and it's been about two and a half months since I've saught "professional help". My mood changes weekly, daily, and evey other weekly. It's up and down and all around, but predictable (in most cases). Just today I was making plans to slice my wrists with a knife. I'm not insane, and I know what's happening and how to get out of it. I just feel that I need to prove to myself that I can really do something BIG, no matter what mood I'm in. I really need to know how BIG it really is right now, though I don't want to tell my parents (for the third time) that I'm feeling "self-destructive". That might push me into the dumps, if you know what I mean. Though I want to slice my wrists, so I better do something, right? Please, I need advice. My phycologist, Cherry, I'm not seeing anymore. She hurt more than help. I don't know if I could take another chance like that.

-- Contributed by: Jane

Hi Carly, Your counselor is correct - you need to see a doctor about your problem. As you probably already know, it is unhealthy to mourn the loss of people for long periods of time. You quit living in the present and begin living in the past - not a good thing for a young person. Your friends wouldn't have wanted you to be so sad- they probably wanted to keep on living, and you should too. I'm glad to hear you are trying to get help. If your doctor deems it necessary, anti-depressants could help you overcome your sadness so you can see things a little more clearly. Think of your family and how they would feel if they lost you (the same way you are feeling right now!); I'm sure you don't want to put them through that. Hang in there!!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I don't know whats going on! I'm so confused with life and keep thinking what's the point? In August 2007 my best friend passed away from cancer at the age of 14 and then this year in feb my other close friend lost his life to cancer at the age of 18. My life has really changed and I feel like its been turned upside down! I get counseling, but my counselor wants me to go to the doctor as she thinks I've got depression. I'm so scared about what's going to happen. I just want to be with them, but I know it's wrong to think that way.

-- Contributed by: Carly

Tiger,

I also found some depression chat rooms, but proceed with caution. Online, you never know who you are talking to. Which is why I still highly recommend you speak to a trusted adult as soon as possible.

-- Contributed by: Debbie Vasen

Tiger,

First, you should know that your feelings make perfect sense to me. You don't have be physically touched to feel violated. In addition, your mom's husband also betrayed your mother's trust. You should never feel that any of this is your fault. By telling your mother the truth, you definitely saved her any feature heartache by being involved with this creep.

I am very worried about your emotional state. This is no doubt a crisis and I want to see you get help. Personally the best method is to talk to someone face to face, and I know you mentioned that is hard for you. Is there a counselor at your school you can go to? Or, maybe a pastor at your church? Someone who is in the business of helping others also has access to local resources if they can't help you directly.

In the meantime -- like right now! -- I want you to go to http://suicidehotlines.com/ Please call them. They can help you immediately. I also found this website -- http://www.befrienders.org/ which is an online resource.

Please contact someone, your feelings are very real and valid. You deserve some help.

-- Contributed by: Debbie Vasen

i dont know whats wrong with me, or if there is anything wrong with me. i answered yes to 8 of the questions. a few months ago my mum split up with her husband (my step-dad) because of me and now shes gone on depression pills. He sent perverted messages to me on my phone and left notes in my room, for like 4 yrs but i was too scared to tell anyone. i told my mum about it when it got too much once but she said i was mistaken and it was all a 'misunderstanding' and that the message was meant for her. i was so angry that she believed him over me. just a few months ago i got the courage to actually show her one of the messages and she kicked him out. i keep thinking to myself that i shouldnt have told her so she would still be happy. now whenever im on my own i just feel like crying because i have no one to talk to, i cant trust anyone but myself. none of my friends or family are close enough to confide in. ive felt suicidal before but now im feeling it whenever ever im alone. i just feel so worthless and pathetic because i couldnt stand up to him i just let it happen for ages, ive never had a proper boyfriend, im 18 and im still a virgin for christ sake, im too scared. i feel so stupid because its not as if he raped me or anything but its proper ...ed up my head. whenever i think of dating a guy it just reminds me of the messages and makes me feel sick. ive not told anyone this, they think im ok. my mum says its not my fault but i dont believe her. i keep thinking that everyone would be happier if i just died but i know deep down that they would really be devestated. theres no way i can talk to people face to face or over the phone about my problems, is there any chatrooms or online thing that can help me??

-- Contributed by: Tiger

Hi again Bec, Everyone handles things differently and you'll know when you're ready to deal with it (self-harming issue). I'm sure you mom is freaking out because she is worried about you. Try to see it from her point of view, if only a little. It is really hard to see your children become depressed and hurt themselves.

Now for the death question. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but people handle this situation differently as well. It is deeply personal, and it depends on how well or how much you thought of the person that has passed. Grief typically follows five distinct stages, and each one lasts as long as it needs to (hence the "everyone is different" message). The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. If any one stage lasts more than several months, talking with someone who has gone through the same thing often helps.

In your situation, you may be in shock, having just heard about this. I'm not sure why you were the last to find out about it, but you have every right to be upset. One of the best ways to deal with grief is to just let it happen- holding grief in can really be disastrous to your health.

Drop me a line anytime....I truly wish you all of the luck in the world with handling your difficulties.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Ah, just to let you know, I'm not trying to get attention.. its far from that. I asked because I don't want anything to be done about it, and if I had told my school counselor that.. well then.. they would most likely put me into a mental hospital. Thats what im scared of. Thats why I asked. I'm not looking for attention.. lol.

And my mum knows.. thanks to my school. Notice the sarcasm.. She took me to a doctor, he immediately refered me to a psychologist.. me & her had a fight last Wednesday.. she told my mum stuff.. so now I don't see her.

Can i ask you something.. How do you deal with a death of a friend? I had a death of one of my friends last Friday.. I'm not sure how to take it because I wasn't told till 2 months after he died.

-- Contributed by: Bec

Hi Bec, Anytime you are spending a lot of time thinking of ways to off yourself, you have a problem. Depression is the root cause for most suicides and many people who attempt them to get attention die accidentally. If you don't already have a counselor, I'd suggest you find one to talk to, especially if you are a self-harmer. Many teens do this for two reasons: the adrenaline rush and/or for attention. This also should be addressed with a counselor. I'm surprised that if your mum is a nurse, she hasn't noticed what you're doing! I think if she knew her baby was hurting herself, she'd find a way to get you help- pronto. However, you have to ask for help first, but I think you know that.

Yes, the Internet is a good place to meet people anonymously, but eventually you'll have to deal with your problems in the here and now. Life can't be lived in a bubble; a big part of life is interacting with live human beings. Like you said, enjoy it for what it is, but don't let the Internet take over your life.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

If you are thinking about suicide, but you know yourself you would never do it, would that still be serious? Like, If your thinking about different kind of ways.. But your not really interested in actually doing it for real. Would that be considered serious if I told a counselor that? And, I am a self-harmer.. but I'd never go to that extreme even though it is on my mind. No matter how hard my life is currently.

With the drugs question, no. Because my mums a nurse she could tell if I have used them. I'd never get away with it. But other than that question and the first question (I sleep during the night, but I consistently wake up real early like 2 am or earlier and can't get back to sleep) I answered yes to all others.

And to the person that said talking on the Internet was bad and could cause depression, it's true in my books.. I'm an addict to the Internet and like yourself I talk to people on here because it's much better and I feel a sense of power; in the real world I feel the total opposite. But it does make me somewhat depressed that I rely on something not real to make me independent upon myself, but if it's the only thing in your life that you can escape to, just forget about it.. Just have fun on here. If you can.

-- Contributed by: Bec

Hi Jackie, Great! I wish you all the luck in the world!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I answered yes to 9/10 questions. Im trying to get help now, the site helped me.

-- Contributed by: Jackie

Hello Lydia, I'm sorry that you seem to feel alone with no one to share your problems with. I want to tell you, and the others who are suffering in silence that talking with a counselor isn't such a bad idea. Many people who are counselors took up the profession because they too had painful childhoods or had a rough time as teens. Most counselors have worked through their problems and now want to offer assistance to others in the same predicaments. Please consider talking with a counselor, either at school or look for one in the phone book. Your confidentiality is guaranteed and I promise they won't tell you that you're stupid- that is totally contrary to the profession!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I totaly agree with whoever :/ is. I answered to 10 of the questions with yes, and I can't face talking to anyone about it, because I don't want them to just tell me I am being stupid, and I don't know what I should do. I do find that my mates will listen when they are on msn, but it makes me feel worse sometimes.

-- Contributed by: Lydia

Hello I, I'm sorry that you feel you have no one to go to with your problems. I'm concerned however that you may have some real problems that you will eventually have to talk to an adult about in order to get help. If you feel you can't talk to your parents, you only have two other options: talk to a guidance counselor (who has a background in counseling from their college courses), a teacher who cares, or call a teen helpline. You can also find depression support groups on the Internet (just Google depression counseling or depression support groups). Hang in there!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I'm slightly worried. I'm 15. I answered 'yes' to 9 of the questions. However, I'd rather not consult with my parents about this, and I'm not the type to visit a 'trusted adult'. Especially since I don't know of any trusted adults. I find that discussing my problems with my 'online friends' is much easier. Although according to an article I just read, being on the internet causes depression. Yippee, I guess there's no escape.

-- Contributed by: :/

Hi Phoenix, So, you need someone to talk to. I've never heard of a school that doesn't at least have a guidance counselor- so I'm hoping you at least have one of those. Most guidance counselors (you know, the people that help you make up your schedule of classes?) have a background in counseling. They should be the first person you can seek help through. Don't worry if you answered yes to a bunch of questions in my article- that doesn't mean you are headed for disaster. It may just mean you have hit a rough patch that you'll soon recover from. Everyone your age has problems with relationships, especially with their mothers (take it from me, we ALL do). You probably don't want to hear this, but hormones may be causing some of your uneasiness since you are going through a ton of changes right now. Hang in there and try talking with a guidance counselor or even a trusted teacher. They will want to help you and point you in the right direction of a depression counselor if needed. Charlotte Gerber- Teens Editor

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hi Tom, First, let me preface this by saying I'm not a doctor. I will try to answer some of your questions though based on my experience. From the sounds of it, you've had a pretty rough time since your nan died. This is normal. However, you appear to have signs of deep depression- feeling tired all of the time, not wanting to do things you previously enjoyed, sleeplessness and now, an apparent drinking problem to drown your feelings. It sounds like you tried to address the problem, but didn't get the help you needed. So now, this is my advice to you. You KNOW you have a problem, now what should be done? Get to a counselor who knows how to deal with people who have depression (check the phone book for counselors and either call them or see if they have a specialty listed- like addictions counseling). Be brutally honest about what is going on- down to the last detail- including your drinking. Counselors can't help you unless you lay all your cards on the table. As for medication, that depends. You can't take anti-depressant drugs when you have a dependency on alcohol too- it is a recipe for disaster. A good counselor will address the alcohol problem first, then they can re-address anti-depressants, if you still need them. You may not need anti-depressants if you can learn how to deal emotionally with your depression, which resulted from the death of a loved one. I wish you all the best in getting help. Drop me a line if you need to- here in this comments section. Charlotte Gerber- Teens Editor

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

I'm 16 years old and I know I have been suffering from depression for about 2 and a half years now ever since my nan died. My school work changed and I ended up getting kicked out of school due to a outburst of anger and ended up leaving with no grades or anything. I have trouble sleeping- sometimes I have no sleep at all and when I do sleep, I sleep long throughout the day. I stay in bed even when I am awake. I'll stay there and probably not get out until late afternoon. I have been drinking alcohol too much for someone my age. I must drink within 40-50 cans or bottles a week and now I beleive that I have come to depend on it. I have lost all intrest in my hobbies I used to do and spend a lot of time watching tele and I feel as though I have no energy to do anything. I have consulted a doctor, but they refused to prescribe me medication so I didn't go see them anymore. Since then I have been getting worse. Does anyone think that medication is the answer ??

-- Contributed by: Tom

I'm 13 years old and I am kinda freaked out 'cause I answered most of the questions with a yes...I have no help at home 'cause my dad doesn't live with me and my mum just keeps ticking me off and calling up her sisters saying what a brat I am ( even though I dont do anything wrong ) and my school doesn't do counseling or have a doctor or a phychiatrist thing...What can I do?

-- Contributed by: Phoenix

Hi M@ri$$@, either way it means the same thing- are you, or are you not, able to sleep through the night? One points to depression whereas the other does not. If you have trouble sleeping, along with other problems listed in the article, you should seek the expertise of your family physicial or counselor.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Just a question: On the quiz, shouldn't it say, "Are you unable to sleep through the night?" Not able?

-- Contributed by: M@RI$$@

Hi Valerie,

If you are still in school, go to your guidance counselor, school nurse or school psychiatrist. They are your best bet to get help right away- and they can smooth the way for you to discuss this with your parents if need be. On the other hand, if you have a great relationship with your parents you can always go to them first. Don't suffer in silence- depression problems usually get worse, not better, with time.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

i dont know how to ask for help. i answered yes to many of the symptoms.. so i think im suffering from depression.

help!?! how do i ask for help!?

-- Contributed by: valerie

Hi Brandi,

As someone who suffers from depression, I know how hard it is to ask for help. However, you need to find someone to talk to and get some help. All of the signs are pointing in the wrong direction- sleeplessness, weight gain, racing thoughts...those are all signs of depression. Eventually your problems will begin to affect your relationships with your children and your husband. Find a family physician as soon as possible and ask for the help you need. It is tough enough to be in a strange country without suffering from depression as well. The sooner this problem is addressed, the sooner you'll be able to cope with your new surroundings and hopefully begin to enjoy them. Hang in there!!!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

SO..Ive been through depression before and I thought I had gotten through it but for a few weeks now . I think , Ive slipped back into it. I havent been able to sleep. Even if Im tired I cannot. Im getting fatter and Im not eating that much food to gain weight. My mind is constantly wondering. I think Ive slipped back again is because I recently moved to Germany. with my husband.. he's in the military and thats stress enough.I have a 10 month old little girl and I do everything by myself and i just turned 20. I dont really do anything for myself. I dont have many friends here. Im alone most of the time. I miss home. But I dont really know who to talk to about it here because I dont want my husband to look bad or anything like that and I dont want my daughter to know her mommy has depression problems. :( Any advice?

-- Contributed by: Brandi

Hi Shy Baby,

I hope things are better for you now. It is always hard finding the right doctor and the right meds; sounds like things are looking up for you.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

3 years !!! 3 years !!! counselling websites doctors hospital bla bla bla eventually they gave me medication crap !! but now they are actually taking me serious had to give me high dosage of medication its ok so far better, fair enuff i am an individual might be diffierent for each person but i had sever depression since i was 13 i am now 17 and finally getting somewhere. don't give up !!

-- Contributed by: shy baby

Hi Maria,

If you think you have a problem that you need help with, send us a message and we'll try to help you with it. If it is a situation that is a crisis, please contact a crisis hotline or talk with a trusted adult immediately. Big problems tend to get even bigger when you ignore them; don't stress yourself out, share your problem with someone!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

...i... ...t...h...i...n...k... ...i... ...h...a...v...e... ...a... ...p...r...o...b...l...e...m...........

-- Contributed by: Maria Maldonado
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