LoveToKnow Teens:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Teens

Comments

Hello F.C.,

This has to be such a confusing time for you as it can be for many teens. From reading your comment, I can tell that you think about this a lot and all you want to do is come to a conclusion about where you stand as far as sexuality goes.

The teens years are turbulent. It's a time to discover who you are and what you like and most teens go through an identity crisis, which sounds a lot like what you are going through.

To answer some of your questions:

How do I know if the girl I like has the slightest homosexual tendencies?

You won't really know until you ask her. If you're afraid to ask, then just watch and see who she seems interested in.

The only real way to know is either that a girl is stereotypically butch (and I don't really go for that type) or through a dating site, and do these really work?

You can try an online dating site for teens. Sometimes they can be a good way to meet someone you wouldn't otherwise meet in your area. Check out this article:

Teen Lesbian Dating Sites

I feel like I could tell my mom, but should I?

It's important to have support right now. If you think your mom would be supportive, you should talk to her. If not, seek out support from another adult you can trust.

Also, what should I identify myself as?

Don't worry about what you should identify yourself as yet. You don't need a label for yourself...you are who you are.

but does the fact that I seem to click better with girls when it comes to feeling comfortable around them and hunging out make me more of a lesbian?

No, the fact that you feel comfortable hanging out with girls and being around them doesn't make you more of a lesbian.

Don't worry, you will figure all of this out. Just hang on and life will start to settle and you will find out who you are and what you want.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Hi there. I am a 14-year old girl, going onto 15 in April, and from a few years now I have been confused about my sexual orientation. I find guys very attractive - if I see a good-looking guy, I'll go ahead and mention to my friends that he's sexy. I am attracted to men sexually. But as far as the idea of dating goes, the thought of dating a guy seems to cause a little stress - truth is it might just be that I haven't found the right ones when I was in relationships (both of mine were a disaster). I still feel comfortable around them as friends, but I can't be sure what the reason of that ditress is.

I am, however, also attracted to girls since I fell for one of my girl friends a year ago. We were really close, although up to this day I can't exactly describe how I felt - she was someone I would never want to get close to sexually and I could never even imagine us actually getting together, but there must have been something about her that made me realise I'm not heterosexual, and probably won't be in the future. We are no longer friends and I no longer feel anything for her, but my ability to feel strongly towards women persisted. So lately there was this girl who I liked, and I liked her so much that I did something I would usually be tu shy to do, ie. I went out with her for a day to hung around and at the end of the day confessed. It came out that she is straight rather than gay or bisexual, so I was a bit, sad, angry at myslef, embarrased even - but she's a really great girl and she's fine with it and we're not really awkward or anything. Now the problems I have are: How do I know if the girl I like has the slightest homosexual tendencies? The only real way to know is either that a girl is stereotypically butch (and I don't really go for that type) or through a dating site, and do these really work? I am a little bit afraid of using them in case of being caught by my dad, who is a bit homophobic and more or less already said it that he wouldn't accept it if I'd be bisexual or a lesbian. I feel like I could tell my mom, but should I? I get great support from my friends, but I'm not so sure about my family. Also, what should I identify myself as? I'm kind of used to calling myself bisexual I guess, but does the fact that I seem to click better with girls when it comes to feeling comfortable around them and hunging out make me more of a lesbian? And also there's the problem at school - I've been asked am I a lesbian once and since I didn't give a real no (because if I did, I'd feel like betraying myself) people I don'teven like seem to ask me uncomfortable questions from time totime and I don't have a clue what to answer so that I don't reveal myself and yet remain true to who I am. So, I know this is a lot of questions for you, but I'm just kind of confused. If you could help, I'd be so, so thankful.

Thanks in advance.

-- Contributed by: F. C.

Hi Melanie, It isn't wrong to have fantasies about the opposite sex. Most people who are bisexual actually have relationships with people of both sexes, not just day dream about them. As for what guys think, who cares? My advice is to be yourself and be true to who you really are, not what you think someone else wants you to be.

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hey, since 7th grade I've found girls to be attractive. Every now and then I have sexual girl fantasies, but I've only been with guys and I find them much more attractive, (lots of laughts). I don't think I'll ever be with a girl, but I always just think about having fun with a girl. So basically, I want to know if I'm bisexual or if I'm just telling myself that because most guys consider it a turn on when a girl is bisexual.

-- Contributed by: Melanie

Hi Cinthya, If you are bisexual, it should come as no surprise that you are attracted to both sexes. The fact that you are attracted more towards girls right now doesn't necessarily mean that anything has changed, unless you decide you don't like guys any more sexually. I don't know your age, but you may just be going through an experimental phase. Ride it out and see where you are a few months from now. People are allowed to change their minds- it is human nature!

-- Contributed by: Charlotte Gerber

Hi, I'm Cinthya and I'm bisexual, but now I'm having more physical attractions to girls- but I still like guys what should I do?

-- Contributed by: cinthya
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