Having crushes can be a wonderful, scary, fun, and heartbreaking experience. When you get your first crush, you may feel confused about what's happening. You may have never had these feelings before. Over time, though, you'll realize that it is all a normal part of adolescence.
Teen Crushes Can Happen in a Flash
You see that guy you don't know well walking down the hallway at school and your heart skips a beat. You start to blush. You might want to just get out of there, fast.
Or maybe there's a girl you've always been friends with, who is fun to talk to and hang out with. Then one day she walks into chemistry class, and suddenly you're the one feeling the chemistry.
Young love or lust can happen anywhere, anytime. One minute you're feeling normal and the next, someone catches your eye and your world is turned upside down. Your crush might be someone you know, or it could be someone you've never met. It may even be someone you'll never meet, like a hot actor in a movie or a gorgeous athlete.
The funny thing is you can't choose who you'll have feelings for, just as later in life you won't be able to pick who you fall in love with. You might find someday you're fixating on a person who you disliked just a few days ago. Such is the world of wild emotions you've entered into when you have your first crush!
All people react differently. Some people aren't afraid to tell another person they like them. Others don't even want to talk to the object of their affection. Some tease the person they like as a way to get attention. Many daydream about hanging out with that special person. You might find yourself thinking about her all the time or mindlessly writing his name in the margins of your notebook.
Dealing With a Crush
Just as there are many ways to react to crushes, there are several options for dealing with your feelings.
- You can ignore your feelings and hope they go away. This can be difficult if your crush is someone you know because it's hard to act natural when you're full of emotions.
- You can enjoy the fantasy. This is the best course when you're obsessing over someone like an actor or an athlete because you'll probably never get to meet them. Share your feelings with your friends, and you can all enjoy daydreaming about what would happen if you ever got to meet the object of your affection.
- You can tell the person you have a crush on him or her. It's really difficult to admit to these kinds of feelings, especially with someone you don't know very well. Although there is a chance you may get rejected or feel disappointed, there is also a chance that they like you as well.
- You can try to befriend the person your heart is set on if he or she isn't already your friend. Spend some time with the person in group activities like going to a football game. As you get to know each other better, you might find the time is right to confess your feelings.
If you work up the courage to tell your crush how you feel and he or she rejects you, it can seem devastating. It's a horrible feeling to know someone you like doesn't like you. It can be embarrassing to confess your feelings and then learn they aren't mutual. Know that while this feels horrible, it is only temporary. Before long you'll be happily into someone else. If you have difficulty moving past your feelings, talk to a trusted adult.
When Someone Has a Crush on You
It can feel really exciting to know that someone has a crush on you. If you don't feel the same way, let them know gently. If you do like them, enjoy the time you spend together and maybe even start dating each other. When it comes to both boys and girls, when either party has a crush, they will definitely have a difficult time not smiling.
How Do Girls Act When They Have a Crush?
If a girl has a crush, she will show several signs that you can look out for. These include:
- Her pupils will dilate.
- She may touch you often and for no reason- any chance to make some sort of contact with you.
- She may compliment you, your style, and your personality traits.
- She will probably tell her friends about you, so don't be surprised if they drop hints about her liking you.
- She will mirror your body language and orient her body towards yours.
How Do Boys Act When They Have a Crush?
- He may gaze into your eyes a bit longer than a friend would.
- He may hug you and linger so he can continue his physical contact with you.
- He may come up with a silly or endearing nickname for you.
- He will probably find any excuse to spend time with you, even if it means hanging out with all of your friends.
- He will mirror your body language and point his feet toward you.
- He may direct the conversation towards your interests.
Exploring Your Crush
Having a crush is a totally normal part of adolescence. Even though it can be nerve-wracking at first, you'll get used to these new feelings and may even begin dating the person you're interested in.