As a teenager, your first kiss can be exciting - or disappointing. It's far better when it's with someone you really like and find attractive than it is with someone you kiss just to "get it over with."
Knowing When You're Ready
Whether it happens under the darkened bleachers after a football game, under the porch lamp of your parent's house, or under swirling lights that illuminate the gym floor during a school dance, your first kiss will be a pretty big event in your life. If it hasn't happened yet, then that's absolutely fine, as it's sure to happen, eventually.
Not rushing into things is advice that most any sound adult will bestow upon a teenager, and it is good advice. There will be plenty of time for kissing later when you're done learning high school stuff. Worrying about when it will happen and/or scrambling about to find someone, anyone, to kiss you is a waste of time that is better spent working toward your future. Plus, waiting patiently for your first kiss will only make the anticipation in the moment of your first kiss even better.
Get the Timing Right
However cliche it may sound, you'll just know when you're ready. You'll have found that special someone who gives you butterflies, who you care for deeply and who also cares for you. You'll have spent quality time with them and, who knows, you might already be a couple. Sooner than later, you'll have that moment of clarity where you're simply ready to show them how you feel in the form of a kiss. Then all you have to do is wait until the right opportunity presents itself.
First Kiss Statistics
Very little research exists regarding the average age that people have their first kiss. One study revealed that the number of first-year college students who had not yet kissed another person was fairly low - around 14%. Non-academic estimates place the average age of a first romantic kiss at around 15, although this average can vary depending upon cultural norms (religion, societal expectations, etc.) and opportunity.
What a First Kiss Is Like
It's sort of scary, sort of awkward and it will make your heart pound so fast and loud you'll just know the other person can hear it. That is, unless, you are totally caught off guard by someone else and pulled into the moment before you can realize what is about to happen. It's your first kiss, and stories of first kisses are as unique as the people telling them.
A Memorable Moment
Some people have the most incredible first kisses, and others have not-so-amazing experiences. The point is: being the first one, it's always going to be memorable and, if you can get a good story out of it, then that's even better! It's going to feel weird, (but a good kind of weird) and when it's over, you'll be like OMG! that really wasn't as big of a deal as everyone was making out. Then you'll just be super excited to do it all over again.
How Do You Kiss for the First Time?
You'll know when your crush is ready to kiss you, because they'll find subtle ways to tell you in their body language, such as touching your arm, leaning toward you when you speak, and making eye contact.
It's All About Timing
Chances are, if they're being extra touchy-feely with you and making constant body contact, then they want to kiss you. The biggest sign is when you're saying goodbye at the end of a date or meet-up. If they are lingering, muttering and not making much sense, then they are nervous in anticipation of a kiss. In this case, always go in for the hug first just in case you misread the signs, and then as you're pulling away, look at them.
Eye Contact as a Clue
If they're looking back at you and making eye contact, the kiss will happen naturally as you automatically both lean forward. You can often just feel the chemistry when you're about to kiss - it's the nervous anticipation on both sides - and you won't be able to miss it!
Initiating the First Kiss
If the timing feels right for a kiss but a hug doesn't work for you for whatever reason, try any of these other tactics for getting that first kiss.
- Say, "May I kiss you?" or "I want to kiss you." This makes your intentions clear while also asking for consent before initiating the kiss.
- Lightly caress their cheek while looking directly into their eyes. Take a step forward and lean in.
- If you know you have consented to kiss them but haven't yet tried, you can simply and boldly go in for the kiss. If you feel resistance from them (them backing away or body tightening) stop what you're doing and try later when the timing feels right.
How Long It Lasts
Your first kiss can last as long as you want it to last. Due to nerves, most people's first kisses don't tend to last too long. It's all about what feels acceptable to you and your kissing partner. Make sure you take it at your own pace because they're in absolutely no rush to get it done and over with. Similarly, it doesn't need to last all night! Simply let the kiss come to a natural end.
Perfecting Your Kissing Technique
Kissing tips available online usually outline techniques and methods of kissing, and that's all well and good, but sometimes you need more than lists and descriptions. The best tricks you will learn, however, will come from experiencing the act of your first kiss and then practicing a second, a third, and so on. Doing what feels right is always a better choice than doing what a magazine suggests.
With experience, everyone acquires a style of lip-locking, and everyone likes and dislikes different ways of showing affection through kissing. Tongues are pretty much a given in any first kiss, but the trick is to tease it by gently touching it against the tongue of your crush, instead of going overboard and being too forceful with it. Be gentle, relax, go with the flow and, if in doubt, let your crush take the lead.
Sit Back, Relax and Enjoy the Ride
There is no kissing test and you cannot fail the subject of your first kiss. Even if your first experience putting your lips to the lips of another seems to go horribly, there is always a lesson to be learned from it. Hopefully, you can reflect upon it later in life and laugh. Don't worry; it's impossible to mess it up. Remember, what your first teenager kiss will be is special in its own way. Just relax and have fun with it!