Tips on High School Dating

Michele Meleen
Teenage couples walking on street

High school relationships can be complicated, but with these tips on high school dating, you will know what to expect so you can keep your relationship going. Teen relationships face unique challenges and don't always last although they can lead to long-term commitments.

How to Date in High School

If you have dated in high school, you already know there is a lot that goes into it besides just hanging out with someone you like. Before you start dating, take some time to think about your ideas and preferences about how relationships work:

  • Understand what dating means to you.
  • Think about the qualities you want in a boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Decide on your personal relationship boundaries.
  • Consider whether you are ready for a relationship.

How to Get a Boyfriend in High School

Getting a boyfriend in high school is more about making a genuine connection with a guy than actively looking for someone to call your bf. If you're looking to be in a relationship, the best advice is to be yourself, be honest about your feelings, and relationships will naturally evolve. Although there's not a step-by-step guide that guarantees you a boyfriend, there are things you can do to get noticed by your crush or take a friendship to the next level.

Be Yourself

Knowing who you are and who you aren't goes a long way in dating. Guys are often attracted to confidence. If you feel good about who you are, guys will be able to tell and will feel good being with you. No matter your style or interests, you are unique and will be the right fit for some guy.

Be Open and Honest

Asking someone out can be really intimidating for some guys. Give him some confidence to ask you by letting him know you're available and interested. If he's not asking, there's no reason why you can be the one to bring up the subject. Make sure your conversations feel natural, not forced, by saying exactly what you feel, think, and want.

Look for Opportunities to Connect

guy and girl doing homework together

Teens spend a lot of times in group settings, which is great for getting to know the guy of your dreams. However, you'll need some time alone to take your relationship to the next level. If there's a guy you're interested in, ask him to help you with some homework or teach you to skateboard. Inviting him to a one-on-one activity gives you both the chance to share your feelings or flirt without the embarrassment of everyone else watching.

How to Get a Girlfriend in High School

Starting a romantic relationship with a girl isn't that different from starting one with a boy. Friendships can evolve into dating or you might meet someone new and just know you want to date them.

Choose Personality Over Looks

If you want a girlfriend, the first step is to find someone with a personality you find attractive and that meshes with yours. Look for the girl you have a good time with, a girl who makes you feel good. If she's hot, that's a bonus, but it shouldn't be the only reason you want to date her. The thing about attraction is everyone is attracted to different looks and sometimes you become more physically attracted to a person as you get to know and like their personality.

Take the Initiative

Traditionally, dating involved a guy asking a girl out. Although attitudes on dating roles are changing today, girls still tend to let the guy do the asking. If you're interested in being more than friends with a girl, take the initiative and ask her out. The worst that can happen is she declines. In the moment, it will feel disappointing and maybe even embarrassing, but the good news in high school is there's always new news and things move quickly.

Be Flexible

There's no "right way" to have a relationship, instead, you do what's right for the two of you. Some girls don't like labels, some like to take things really slow. Talk with the girl you like about what she wants in a relationship or how she thinks it should work. If you can get behind her idea of dating, go for it. Being a "girlfriend" can mean something different to every guy and girl, so be as flexible as you're comfortable with.

How to Make High School Relationships Last

High school relationships can last long beyond senior year. If you want to make your relationship last, first you need to choose someone who is a good fit for you. Then you can work to keep your relationship trustworthy, fun, and free from outside drama.

Keep Your Relationship Separated From Friends

Your friends don't need to be dragged into arguments you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have. They also may not want to watch you guys cuddle and make out all the time. It's fine to hang out in group settings as a couple, just make sure to keep your private moments private. This will help stave off unwanted opinions or drama from others.

Avoid Oversharing on Social Media

You may be in love or fighting with your boyfriend/girlfriend, but the rest of the world doesn't need to hear about it repeatedly. Change your relationship status and post the occasional happy photo of the two of you, but don't flood your friend's feeds with sappy love notes or angry rants. Conversely, these posts stay in the internet universe forever, so if you made up from a fight your mean words are still out there for your partner to see. Your relationship needs to be built on real conversations, not virtual ones.

Keep Texts and Calls Under Control

teen sending love messages on cell

If you've both got cell phones, staying in touch throughout the day is a piece of cake. But, using up all your boyfriend's/girlfriend's data and blowing up his or her phone could get annoying. Keep texts under control by only sending one or two "just because" texts in a day at most. These will remind him/her that you care and are thinking of him/her without feeling overwhelming. Then only text or call if you've really got something to talk about like making a plan for Friday night congratulating him/her on winning a game.

Keep Negativity Low

Don't speak negatively about the person you are dating to anyone, including your friends. Of course, you will have those times when you need to vent, but keep it at a minimum. This is especially true if your friends do not like your boyfriend/girlfriend. Talking badly will only give them more ammunition to throw at you for the reasons why they don't like him or her. Keep a journal to get your frustrations out or write a letter when you're mad that gets torn up and thrown away after it's been written.

Know Whom You Can Trust

Your friends will come to you with stories about your boyfriend or girlfriend that may not make you happy. These stories could be made up or an exaggeration of the truth. Sometimes friends like to cause trouble between a couple because it's exciting for them or they are jealous. Just be careful about who you listen to when rumors start. Open, honest communication with your partner is the first step to keeping rumors at bay.

Talk to Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend

If an issue comes up, talk to the person you're dating first. One of the worst things to hear is that the person you care for is having concerns, but hasn't voiced them to you first. This is especially true with text messaging because those messages can spread like wildfire. It may not always be possible to address an issue right when it happens so consider creating a code word either of you could use when there's an issue that needs attention can be helpful. Text the code word or slip him/her a note with the code word on it so he/she is aware you're upset before anyone else gets the chance to spill the beans. Then, when you have time, talk it out.

Be Respectful to Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend

teen with flowers picking up date

If your date's parents set a curfew, don't voice how unfair it is to your boyfriend or girlfriend because it may cause friction between you and the parents. Respect the wishes of your date's parents and everyone will be much happier and less stressed out. If there's a particular rule that's putting a strain on your relationship, work with your partner to create a presentation for the parents on why and how you believe the rule should be changed. A little research, hard work, and creativity might be enough to help you get what you want.

Be Patient With Intimacy

Sometimes you have to be patient and again, respect the person you are dating. If he or she is not ready to move on to the level of intimacy you are ready for, do not pressure the person. The only thing that pressuring will do is make the person either resent you later or scare him or her off. Talk about your thoughts on intimacy and sex throughout your relationship and consider signing an intimacy agreement where you both list boundaries for what you're comfortable with at different points in the relationship. For example, you might agree to only hold hands until you've been dating six months, and then you both feel comfortable kissing.

Life Goes on While Dating

Some couples are so in love with each other they forget about the life they had when they were single. This means that grades slip or they end up without any friends because they have pushed them away. This can cause resentment in the relationship. Spend time together, but also spend time alone with your friends and don't forget to keep studying. Keep track of your activities by assigning one color to your partner, one to your friends, one to school work, and one to your family on your phone's virtual calendar. When you look at a whole month, you'll see which is taking up the most time and which isn't getting any of your attention.

Be Honest and Solve Issues Quickly

Some young couples do not like to voice concerns about their relationship because they don't want to lose the other person. The problem with this is that they end up losing the other person anyway because they don't talk things out. When you have a problem with your boyfriend or girlfriend, talk to him or her about it. If you can settle issues as they come up, you will feel a lot happier and secure in your relationship.

Do High School Relationships Last?

The majority of high school couples do not make it past graduation. Many times it's because they didn't follow teen dating tips, they moved on to date other people or went their separate ways after graduation. So don't feel bad if you end up breaking up with someone you thought you would be with forever. There will be many other people available to you to date and it's only a matter of time before you feel that love for someone again.

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Tips on High School Dating