Dating in high school can be complicated, but with these tips on high school dating, you will know what to expect so you can keep your relationship going. Teen relationships face unique challenges and don't always last although they can lead to long-term commitments.
Dating in High School
If you have dated in high school, you already know there is a lot that goes into it besides just hanging out with someone you like. Your friends probably get too involved and your parents are overprotective. These factors can cause a lot of stress in your relationship and are a few of the reasons why many high school love affairs do not last.
Making Your Relationship Last: Tips on High School Dating
Making your relationship last is not impossible as long as you follow some tips on high school dating.
Keep Your Relationship Separated From Friends
You may find someone to date that is part of your circle of friends; this is fine, just keep your relationship separate from them. You can do this by not including your friends in arguments you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have or being overly affectionate while in the group. Make sure to plan alone time and it won't be so hard to separate your relationship from your friendships in group settings.
Avoid Oversharing on Social Media
You may be in love or fighting with your boyfriend/girlfriend, but the rest of the world doesn't need to hear about it repeatedly. Change your relationship status and post the occasional happy photo of the two of you, but don't flood your friend's feeds with sappy love notes or angry rants. Friends who aren't in relationships might feel worse about their situation when they're constantly reminded how happy you are. Conversely, these posts stay in the internet universe forever, so if you made up from a fight your mean words are still out there for your partner to see.
Keep Texts and Calls Under Control
If you've both got cellphones, staying in touch throughout the day is a piece of cake. But, using up all your boyfriend's/girlfriend's data and blowing up his or her phone could get annoying. Keep texts under control by only sending one or two "just because" texts in a day at most. These will remind him/her that you care and are thinking of him/her without feeling overwhelming. Then only text or call if you've really got something to talk about like making a plan for Friday night congratulating him/her on winning a game.
Keep Negativity Low
Don't speak negatively about the person you are dating to anyone, including your friends. Of course, you will have those times when you need to vent, but keep it at a minimum. This is especially true if your friends do not like your boyfriend/girlfriend. Talking badly will only give them more ammunition to throw at you for the reasons why they don't like him or her. Keep a journal to get your frustrations out or write a letter when you're mad that gets torn up and thrown away after it's been written.
Know Whom You Can Trust
Your friends will come to you with stories about your boyfriend or girlfriend that may not make you happy. These stories could be made up or an exaggeration of the truth. Sometimes friends like to cause trouble between a couple because it's exciting for them or they are jealous. Just be careful about who you listen to when rumors start.
Talk to Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend
If an issue comes up, do not start talking to your friends before you talk to the person who you are dating. One of the worst things to hear is that the person you care for is having concerns, but hasn't voiced them to you first. This is especially true with text messaging because those messages can spread like wildfire. It may not always be possible to address an issue right when it happens so consider creating a code word either of you could use when there's an issue that needs attention can be helpful. Text the code word or slip him/her a note with the code word on it so he/she is aware you're upset before anyone else gets the chance to spill the beans. Then, when you have time, talk it out.
Be Respectful to Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend
If your date's parents set a curfew, don't voice how unfair it is to your boyfriend or girlfriend because it may cause friction between you and the parents. Respect the wishes of your date's parents and everyone will be much happier and less stressed out. If there's a particular rule that's putting a strain on your relationship, work with your partner to create a presentation for the parents on why and how you believe the rule should be changed. A little research, hard work, and creativity might be enough to help you get what you want.
Be Patient With Intimacy
Sometimes you have to be patient and again, respect the person you are dating. If he or she is not ready to move on to the level of intimacy you are ready for, do not pressure the person. The only thing that pressuring will do is make the person either resent you later or scare him or her off. Talk about your thoughts on intimacy and sex throughout your relationship and consider signing an intimacy agreement where you both list boundaries for what you're comfortable with at different points in the relationship. For example, you might agree to only hold hands until you've been dating six months, and then you both feel comfortable kissing.
Life Goes on While Dating
Some couples are so in love with each other they forget about the life they had when they were single. This means that grades slip or they end up without any friends because they have pushed them away. This can cause resentment in the relationship. Spend time together, but also spend time alone with your friends and don't forget to keep studying. Keep track of your activities by assigning one color to your partner, one to your friends, one to school work, and one to your family on your phone's virtual calendar. When you look at a whole month you'll see which is taking up the most time and which isn't getting any of your attention.
Be Honest and Solve Issues Quickly
Some young couples do not like to voice concerns about their relationship because they don't want to lose the other person. The problem with this is that they end up losing the other person anyway because they don't talk things out. When you have a problem with your boyfriend or girlfriend, talk to him or her about it. If you can settle issues as they come up, you will feel a lot happier and secure in your relationship.
Life After Love
The majority of high school couples do not make it past graduation. Many times it's because they didn't follow the tips above, they moved on to date other people or went their separate ways after graduation. So don't feel bad if you end up breaking up with someone you thought you would be with forever. There will be many other people available to you to date and it's only a matter of time before you feel that love for someone again.