When you're running for student council, you ultimately need the popular vote from your peers to win. Since your campaign speech is geared toward other teens, not teachers or parents, you can get a lot more creative and open with a seriously funny intro.
Humorous Speech Intros for Each Position
Great speech ideas for student council roles include funny anecdotes or plays on words about the actual job title or things commonly associated with it.
Funny President Speech Intro
The other candidates are going to come up here and tell you all the reasons why you should vote for them. I'm going to give you only one reason why you should vote for me. As President Donald Trump said, "People would vote for me. Why? Maybe because I'm so good looking." That's right, you should choose me for Student Council President because I've got the face of an angel. Think about it, every time I ask for your concerns, give a speech or land an interview in the school paper you're going to have to look at my face. If you want to make this year and school politics more enjoyable, consider who's face you want to stare at every day, mine or theirs.
Hilarious Vice President Speech Opener
I want to become your Vice President so you can all start calling me Veep. It's that simple, people. When I walk down the hallways at school, I want to feel like I'm in one of those YouTube videos for kids where a grown man drives tiny toy trucks around. Veep! Veep! When I'm waiting in line for lunch or the toilet, Veep Veep! When I raise my hand in class or stand before you to give a speech, Veep Veep! So, please give me a moment of your time and if you plan to vote for me after this speech, let's turn this audience into a crowded highway that feels like Friday at 5:00! Veep! Veep!
Silly Secretary Speech Intro
Your Student Council Secretary really needs to love words. I love words so much, I'll only eat Alpha-Bits for breakfast. And what's more, I'll only eat the cereal letters I can use to make a word. So, say there's a "T," "Q," and "R" left in the bowl, I can't bring myself to swallow them. I love pencils so much, I fail every automatically graded exam because I can't bring myself to damage the pencil by using it. I love writing so much, I've got the wrist of a 92-year-old secretary and I'm only 16!
Comical Treasurer Speech Opener
If time is money, we're all going to be very rich after this speech. I'm not sure who is responsible for the exchange rate, but I hope it's a good one. As Treasurer, I take money lingo very seriously, so I've crafted my speech to optimize the amount of time we turn into money for our class.
Humorous Intros for Any Student Council Speech
One of the biggest tips for writing a speech is to connect with your audience on their level. Teens are all about fun and humor, so give your speech a dose of comedy with a funny intro.
- Mr. Smith, our beloved math teacher, told us all that we'd use trigonometry one day. I think he's an awesome teacher and I really want him to be right. So, my entire speech will cover things that are opposite and adjacent to the issues of our school and that will lead me on a tangent.
- When you hear the words "Student Council," you probably envision a bunch of old, bald, white guys sitting around wearing suits with ties talking about all the problems students cause in the world. Today, to help me get through my stage fright, I'm asking you to imagine me as one of those guys. Preferably, I'd like to be the one with the biggest gut if you don't mind.
- Today, I'm here to taco 'bout something serious and I've been trying to figure out how to get your vote. You might think school rules and student privileges are nacho business, but you'd be wrong. I won't try to get jalapeño business or get saucy, and I certainly won't burrito around the bush. If you want this year to feel like a fiesta, vote for me for President. In queso you still haven't figured it out, I'm the best woman for the job.
Relate With Humor
The secret for how to win a high school election lies in your ability to relate to your peers. A funny opening line or paragraph will not only capture their attention, but it will have them thinking about you at the ballot.